Some people treat relationships like buying a car. You go out and shop for something sleek, good looking with a new car scent. Then you take it out for a test drive. Once it has met your level of satisfaction you trade in the old model and apply the discount to the new car, drive off the parking lot then live happily ever after - right! That is until you get the first car note and then began to really consider the weight of being tied down for the next 5-7 years when the old car was running well, had been faithful and was PAID for. Statistics bear out that the failure rate on second marriages is staggering.

Might I make a brief suggestion? Perhaps you might consider restoring the old model instead of trading out for a new model. Perhaps you just might want to consider the old model a classic and worthy of the ultimate in care. Ok, granted the sleek new thing with all of the new stuff revees your engine, but the old thing with a paint job and newly restored seats and some detailing might just revee your engine too. And it comes equipped with all those years of memories of every good thing you did in the car - trips taken, love made, engagements offered. That is just something that the new car won’t have. Plus it has miles and miles of experience of walking through life with you. Certainly if you work hard enough you can think of more good times than bad.

Then there is the joy and satisfaction knowing the you have restored the old car - new paint, auto detailing, oil job, tune up, new tires etc. Anybody that has ever restored a car knows the sheer excitement you get the first time you put it on the road after restoration. It is a beyond awesome experience and suddenly the car has even more value to you than when you bought it new. Why? Because you invested in it. You literally put a part of your heart and soul into the restoration. It is no longer a car that the manufacturer created, it is something that your own personal touch has recreated. That newly restored car becomes an obsession and every free moment you want to spend with it. Somehow if we could just apply that to an old tired marriage, you might just save it.

God told one of his prophets to marry a prostitute. He did this for several reasons…The woman was still practicing her profession and God said be a husband to her and love her despite everything that she does. Guess what happened? 

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In the midst of so many people wanting to end their relationships it is always encouraging to find persons that want restoration. So it blessed me when someone wrote I want to love my wife again. If you are at that point you have increased your probability of regaining your marriage a zillion percent because no marriage can be restored unless you want it restored. Most of the time the other person would opt for restoration but they are too hurt to express it fearing more rejection and pain.

So here are a few words from the Bible that can encourage you. There is a story in the Bible where God told one of his prophets to marry a prostitute. He did this for several reasons, one to show Israel how he felt about them cheating on him spiritually, two to show how any relationship can be restored, and three to show how to restore the worst relationship. He told the prophet love her, and that was it. Can you imagine how difficult this must have been? The woman was still practicing her profession and God said be a husband to her and love her despite everything that she does.

Guess what happened? The love won out. The woman stayed with the prophet, had two children by him and named them names that meant restoration. The bible says that love conquers all. That prophet had to sacrifice his own feelings, his own hurt, and his own more than likely questioning God and give himself unconditionally to an unfaithful marriage. This was an example of how much God really loves us. In that no matter what we do, he will restore us in love if we let him. So God allowed to be written in his word if I can fix this marriage I can do anything.

So if you want to love your wife again, then love her. Love her physically. Love her emotionally. Love her unconditionally. Begin to express words of love everyday. It will make you feel better and eventually melt her heart that has been bruised. The most powerful words you can say to a wounded realtionship are, I am sorry, forgive me and lets start over.

I read this somewhere in the blogsophere and thought it was interesting. If we make love this simple maybe relationship will last longer.

1. No one falls in love by chance, it’s choice

2. No one stays in love by chance, it’s work

3. No one falls out of love by chance, it’s choice

To the person that wrote, can you love your wife but still want to divorce? I think that is almost like asking can you live but not breathe. There are some choices in life you can only have one of. Ask yourself why would you want to divorce someone that you love? That’s like taking the best thing you ever had and dumping it in the trash. Be honest with yourself, what’s the real reason you want a divorce? Once you find that cause you have to determine if you want to fix it. My prayer is that you will. See my about page for resources.

Somewhere in the night the power went off. We had all drifted off into a peaceful prayer induced sleep. But with no power it rapidly became warm in the house. I remembered feeling sweaty and got up to see what temperature the air was set to, then I glaced over at the clock and realized that the power had failed. As I placed my foot on the floor I felt water, then the dread hit. How did water get into the house? We had boarded up and nailed down everything that we could reach. So where was the water coming from? And since it had traveled quite a way across the room I was thinking “Oh no.” I grabbed my cell phone and used it as a flashlight. The further I walked across the room, the more water I found. Then I spotted the culprit, the storm was driving water under the door. So I quickly walked upstairs to grab some blankets to cover the door bottoms. It was then that I actually saw the storm and I froze. My 8 foot window was not accessible so we did not board it. We were a little concerned but not too much because the house had gone through a hurricane before and to live in our region your home must be built to storm standards. Every window had been tested to CAT 3 and that is what we were facing. Yet actually looking at the storm was dreadful, I felt like Peter when he was walking on the water. Everything was going along well until he looked at the storm. I remember thinking do you realize that the only thing separating you from that storm is a thin sheet of glass? The rain was pounding against it hard and I thought it could crash in any minute. The sky was beyond an ominous black, and the rain looked like tiny silver torpedos swirling sideways. Then I snapped back to the promise God had made, went on up the steps and started dumping out the linen closets. Even though I could still see the storm I didn’t let it bother me any more. I had to focus on stopping the water from coming in. At that point I went down stairs and woke my husband up so that he could help me move furniture and cover the floors. We worked quickly and soon the problem was resolved. The floors began to remember a patchwork quilt as we laid mounds of blankets, comforters, sheets and anything else we could find to cover the floors where the water had slid through. My husband found the radio and turned it on to find out about how many more hours would be left in the storm and we were so glad to know we were at least past the half way mark. After everything was secured, we went back to sleep. By the time we woke up again, the storm had passed. At first it was still rainy, then just cloudy and after a while the sun was back in charge helping the land to get rid of the bucket loads of water. It was amazing watching how quickly the water evaporated or got absorbed. The next day nature showed no evidence of a storm. Amazing. So here is the big picture. The economy is in a storm. Don’t look at it, keep your eyes focussed on salvaging what you have. It was only when I looked at the storm that fear tried to grip and immobilize me. I had to shake that and keep moving. I dumped everything to salvage the floors. I think it would be safe to say that all of us are going to have to dump something to stay stable in the days ahead or to salvage your investments. You will have to work quickly because the current of financial instability is not going to slow down. Its objective is to leave you flooded. It will flood your emotions, you ability to make the right choices, and it will flood you with fear. Companies are shutting down, laying off, down sizing and shipping overseas. That is going to leave you frozen in hopelessness or dispair unless you learn not to let the storm control you. Your abilit to succeed will depend on how you personally measure up the storm. Do you see it through faith or through fear. As for me and my household we have committed to serve the Lord, therefore no matter what happens we are ok. I have experienced some tough times, been in some severe trenches and one thing I can say without a shadow of doubt is that God took care of us. He didn’t always do it the way we wanted it done. He did not answer the prayers according to our specifications, but he did take care of us. He has never let us down. He won’t let you down either IF you trust him. Some people are going to have a really hard time trusting God because they have put all their security in their money, their wealth and their ability to take care of themselves. Others have been dupped by false doctrines in church, unbalanced teachings on prosperity and led to believe that if you have “enough faith” you will be spared everything and you can just pray your problems away. It is not going to happen. Be prepared for change, that way when it comes you will not loose your faith in God.